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One of the ways in which people have high self-esteem is through
their occupation. How you feel about your occupation determines
how others will view your occupation. If your occupation is selling
ice in Alaska but you spoke with confidence and enthusiasm and
believed you were the best ice salesperson in Alaska, then you
would certainly be seen by others as being successful. You are
also able to answer the 'So, what do you do' question with pride
as you believe in what you are doing. Why is it then that most
women on maternity leave, or taking some time out of the work
force to raise their children at home, dread being asked 'that'
question.
Full-time mothers at home sometimes answer the question with a
defensive tone. "Oh I'm a taxi driver, a nurse, a teacher, a babysitter
and so on". This almost leaves the person sorry they ever asked!
Yes women at home full-time do all these things but this type
of response seems to be justifying what you do. You never hear
other professional people going into the full list of what their
occupation involves when they first greet someone. Just imagine
it. "Oh I'm a dentist! I start the day with a clean and polish
then I perform a class 2 restoration on an upper 26, followed
by several x-rays and to finish off, an extraction". Not only
would this leave the person who asked thinking you are the most
boring person at the gathering, but also wondering what planet
you are from!
I must admit in my early years of being at home this is exactly
how I used to respond. I had been working full-time in a profession
up until being a first time Mum and I felt I had to defend my
decision of being at home. I would think up quick, smart like
comments, ready for when I was asked 'that' question. "Oh I'm
self-employed, or I'm the CEO of a small family business were
two of my favourites. I seemed to be on the defence. Oh! to be
given a form to fill in that asked for occupation. I'll tell you
what I do! I used to think. The line was never long enough to
complete my 'job description' not occupation.
I also observed how other women at home from my social circle,
would react to the question. A lot would not make eye contact,
almost hanging their head as they answered "Oh I'm just a Mum".
I wanted to jump in, there and then. Just a Mum but you do blah
blah blah! I couldn't understand how they weren't defending what
they did. I felt these women were almost apologising for being
at home and raising their children. I thought long and hard before
I decided to be at home and knew these women did too. So why were
they apologising for a well thought out decision that they had
made.
It took me a while to really feel comfortable with my new role
as full-time mother. I did some soul searching and started to
believe that I was still a professional. I was a professional
mother and homemaker. Like my previous profession I decided to
be the best I possibly could be, in my new profession. I was going
to be the best taxi driver, nurse, teacher and all my other new
roles that I could possibly be. This realisation changed my whole
outlook on who I was according to my occupation. Everything that
I did took on new meaning. I took more pride in myself, my children
and our home around me. Sure I hated doing the ironing, still
do, but it didn't seem as awful as it did before.
The next person who asked me "So, what do you do?" I answered
differently. With my new belief in myself and in what I was doing,
I smiled, stood tall and answered "At the moment I'm a full-time
mother." It was actually easier than thinking up a new smart,
quirky answer! I didn't go on to defend my answer and I actually
got into a conversation about how long I'd been at home full-time
and what my plans for the future were.
When all is said and done, we all make choices to fit our own
family lifestyle. If you made the decision to take some time out
of the paid workforce you don't need to justify your decision
to anyone. Next time someone asks "So, what do you do" tell them.
Look them right in the eye and speak from the heart. Speak with
the pride and belief you have, that you are a wonderful professional
full-time or part-time mother.
This article was provided by the For Women At Home group. View
their website www.forwomenathome.com.au
for more articles and information.
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